Wednesday, March 8
Done by AK at 11:50 AM
Tuesday, March 7
I developed a cough and a cold last Saturday, and kept it over the next few days, up till now.
That meant I did not do anything enjoyable on Sunday other than sleeping and swallowing Panadol, skipped school on Monday and caught the Academy Awards on TV (congrats to Crash for winning Best Picture), and skipped school again today, including NCC training later on in the afternoon.
During this long period of absence from school, I managed to take some time off the seriously think about my position in school. I concluded that I wasn't really that popular and well-liked, usually despised and shunned (to some extent), and found it hard to make friends.
Yesterday afternoon, as my dad was driving me home from a visit to the doctor, he asked how I would be notified about the homework I might've missed during my absence. I told him a friend would most probably drop by the house and pass it to me, knowing that a lot of my friends knew where I lived. Turns out, nobody came that afternoon. The next day, dad asked me about it again, and I told him what happened (or rather, what didn't happen). At this, he muttered blithely, "You have no friends."
I am in the Science class. The class that was supposedly the best in my level. And I came from Dunman Secondary, a school of higher quality than this here Junyuan Secondary.
I was supposed to be smarter than everybody. I had a PSLE aggregate score that way surpasses all of them. I was supposed to best the best. Yet, I am not.
I had become one of the worst. I was still lazy, irresponsible, irritating, and unpleasant.
My homework is rarely done on time. My work attitude is like crap. I tend to do things without thinking of the consequences and stuff. And the list goes on...
Even my NCC career isn't going as planned. I'm beginning to shirk my duties as Admin officer, a position so low yet does the most taxing and tedious jobs, and apparently my "senior" CSM wasn't too happy about it. That bastard had threatened to demote me if I continued this kind of servitude. How do you demote someone who's already at the lowest position of the hierachy?
He really pissed me off, and I felt like quitting the NCC for good at that time.
Then I thought back, and realised, it was all because of me. Fawwaz wouldn't have threatened me with a demotion if I hadn't been slacking off and not attending meetings. Yeah, it all boils down to me once again.
I questioned my existence. Why am I alive? Do I live to wreck the lives of other people? Do I live to ruin my own life? Do I live to fail?
Only time will tell. It's too early to seriously consider anything at the moment.
Done by AK at 6:48 PM
Friday, March 3
Another school assignment. One about 'Flight'. Done in the school comp lab. Let's get started.
Flight. Six letters, whuich could form words like 'Light', 'Fight', 'Fig', 'Lit', 'Hit', 'Fit' and 'Hilt'.
Flight refers to a controlled movement and navigation, in air. Attained for the very first time by mankind in 1903 by Wilbur and Orville Wright in Pennysylvania, USA. Since then, it had been redefined over and over again with each passing improvement, innovation and construction.
Flight was initially a idea of a faster, easier and breathtaking form of travel. A method of achieving dreams and touching the skies. A way of seeing the world from a whole new perspective. During World War I, it changed to become a weapon of control. A gadget of destruction, dogfighting, sabotage, and annihilation. Fighters, bombers and dropships were invented to sweep the skies and protect the airspace.
Now, in the peaceful world we live in, Flight had become a form of exhibition. People build and own planes to impress others. Flight is studied in specialized Academies. Flight demonstrations are held worldwide, not to mention in the upcoming Asian Aerospace Exhibition that is going to be held in Singapore soon.
When I think of Flight, I think of control. I think of power. I think of myself being able to achieve what others cannot. I think of gliding through the air, energized, feeling the calming breeze ruffle my hair, and the cold atmosphere caressing my body. I think of relaxation, and therapy.
I've been on quite a number of plane rides in my current lifetime. While the worry of the possibility of a plane crash clings on to my mind, I would still feel that sense of eagerness in riding a jet. I look forward to each ride with much longing, for the marvellous views through the window, for the food I am served, for the DVDs I could watch, and for those special adrenaline-pumping moments when the plane rockets down the runway at breakneck speed, just before takeoff.
Flight a a form of combat, I suppose, is quite useful too. It provides strategic support for an Army or Navy, and adds a tactical edge to their country's defence/ attack force. I've played games like Battlefield 2 and Coman and Conquer, where missions are never complete without planes to count on to destroy ground forces like tanks and turrets that could overpower smaller, easily surmountable troops. They can do almost everything that has to do with demolition, from mass bombings to precision strikes, and that can prove very helpful in a difficult ground-based slugfest.
I would most certaining want to learn to pilot a plane someday. My eyesight might not look so fit for that at the moment, but I absolutely wish to take control of air navigation one day.
There you go, one more class assignment done. I think it's a bit sloppy, though. What say you?
Done by AK at 9:54 AM